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Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM

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www.tvsubtitles.net

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And then Regis looked
right into the camera, and said,

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"Just give her
the damn Emmy already."

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No, La Lucci,
he didn't say "her,"

5
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he said, "Give La Lucci
the damn Emmy."

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Right, right, right, La Lucci.

7
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Do it. Do Regis.

8
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"Give La Lucci
the damn Emmy already."

9
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Now do Regis finding out
he has a week to live.

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Grace, no bad taste.

11
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,800
And I need some time
to work on that one.

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So you're seeing apartments today?

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Do Regis after he's had
too much melon.

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- Stalling.
- Not stalling.

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00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,900
Grace, you haven't even
been looking at apartments.

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So not true.
Look, there's one now.

17
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There's one and there's one.

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Danny gets back
to town in a week.

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00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,000
You need to move out
of his apartment,

20
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and away from
"ex-boyfriend land."

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- I hate "ex-boyfriend land."
- So start fresh.

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When Michael left me, I completely
changed the whole apartment.

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00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,400
Will, your apartment
is exactly the same.

24
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The point is,
you need a new place.

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It's easy for you to say,
Mr. Rent Control,

26
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:53,400
Mr. View-of-the-Park,
Mr. Perfect Apartment.

27
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Oh my God.

28
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Why don't I move in with you?

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- Wow!
- Huh?

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Can't, because I promised Jack
he could stay with me.

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Just till his floors are done.
Excuse me? How brilliant is this?

32
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I love you, you love me,
and I love the fact

33
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I won't have to pretend
I'm looking for apartments.

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Okay, let me think about this.

35
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No!

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I love you, but no, no, Grace,
we need to have our own apartments.

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- Why?
- Because, we're grown-ups.

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Aren't we?

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What just happened?
We were having fun,

40
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,700
we were playing Regis,

41
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and suddenly I'm supposed to
grow up, get my own place,

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- and pay bills? I hate you.
- No, you don't.

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Look, I gotta get to work,
and you have got to start looking

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for a new apartment.

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Go. Go, you big grown-up.

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As Regis: "What do mean
I only have a week to live?

47
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What am I gonna tell Gelman?"
Ah-hh.

48
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Oh, it all began with
just one little dance 

49
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,300
 But soon it ended up
a big romance 

50
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:06,000
 Blame it on the Bossa Nova 

51
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 The dance of love. 

52
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I made it myself.
It's a dry snack mix.

53
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I call it "garlic jazz."

54
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I think you might like it,
but if you don't,

55
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:20,800
 Blame it on the Bossa Nova 

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00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:23,100
Knock it off. Don't make me laugh.
You're bugging me.

57
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:27,000
Okay,
how am I bugging you?

58
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How about projectile "garlic jazz"
all over my $4,000 sofa?

59
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Each time you describe the sofa
you add another thousand.

60
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( Guapo squawking )

61
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,500
Must you always
let that bird out of it's cage?

62
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Hey, birds gotta fly,
fish gotta swim.

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Will's gotta lighten up.

64
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,200
Sorry, Jack,
I didn't get much sleep.

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You were on the phone till 4:00am.
I could hear you gushing

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three rooms away.

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For your information,
I was having a heart-to-heart call

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with someone who
actually cares about me.

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00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:57,900
Nobody actually cares about you
at Dial-a-Dude.

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00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,200
I don't know what
you're talking about.

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00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,600
It's $2.99 a minute.

72
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And so not worth it.

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00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,000
Jack McFarland,
you are a frustrating roommate.

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You make expensive phone calls,
but you don't pay the bills.

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You eat a lot,
but you never cook.

76
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You put on a maid's uniform,
but you never clean the house.

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Okay, what is this?
What's with the vertical eyebrows?

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- You and Grace get in a fight?
- No, we did not get in a fight.

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She wants to move in.
And I said no.

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And I might have been
a little insensitive.

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Do I have "garlic jazz" breath?

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That's right, I forgot,
it's always about you.

83
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Why are you so angry?

84
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,100
Why don't you tell me
what this is really about?

85
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Oh my God.

86
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:47,900
You're in love with me,
aren't you?

87
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:49,900
Do you smell toast?

88
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,800
Because I think you're
having a stroke.

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00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,700
All I'm saying is,
you're a realtor.

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00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,400
Let's get a little real.

91
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,800
Who can afford-- no, no, no...

92
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,900
don't hang up, please.
I'm sorry.

93
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,800
I'll have my assistant
fax over the application.

94
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,300
It's gonna cost me a muffin basket.

95
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,500
Oh my God,
I already have this.

96
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,600
Well, so now I have two.

97
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,800
I could live with my sister
for a few months.

98
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:23,700
I could also shove bamboo
under my fingernails.

99
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,900
Now this is something,
"I got it so I'll have it.

100
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,900
And maybe I'll wear it,
and maybe I won't."

101
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But maybe I will.
Whoop!

102
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,700
Last month I had a fiance,
and a two-bedroom apartment.

103
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,600
Next month, single and homeless.

104
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,700
Right on track.

105
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,700
Okay, now this is just fun.

106
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,800
It's "Beach,
cocktails with the Pearlmanns,

107
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:46,200
kicky little blouse,
cheeriness."

108
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,000
Dick's gotta stop drinking.

109
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:53,900
Do you also hold up sandwiches
in front of starving children?

110
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:56,000
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
I'm being insensitive.

111
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:59,900
I should really--
do you want a blouse?

112
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,600
No, thank you.
I want an apartment.

113
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,100
Can you please fax this application
over to the realtor?

114
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,100
Oh, honey.

115
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:11,100
Machinery, no.

116
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,500
Why do you have to be the one
to move out in the first place?

117
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,600
It's the break-up rule.

118
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Whoever cancels the marriage
is forced to wander

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00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:25,100
the streets of New York without
a place to plug in her hot rollers.

120
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,000
Honey, you know that Danny would
take you back in a heartbeat.

121
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:33,600
I'm not gonna marry someone just
because I want a nice apartment.

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00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,200
Yes, that would be wrong.

123
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,400
It would be settling.

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00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,200
- I wanna marry the one.
- And well you should, honey.

125
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,000
How else are you gonna get
to the two and the three?

126
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:55,300
2,900 for a loft in NoHo.

127
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,400
2,300 for a loft in SoHo.

128
00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:01,300
That's too much money
to pay for any Ho.

129
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,900
Okay, here, charming one-bedroom,
Chelsea adjacent,

130
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:07,200
well-maintained, 1,500.
Sounds great.

131
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,700
Okay, let me decode.
Charming: tiny.

132
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:14,500
Chelsea adjacent: New Jersey.

133
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:18,300
Well-maintained: super washes
blood off sidewalk daily.

134
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:22,200
You're not helping.
This is for you.

135
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:26,100
Okay, fine, fine.
Let me see. Okay?

136
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,600
Oh my God. Oh my God,
here it is. Perfect.

137
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:33,000
Upper West Side,
spacious two-bedroom,

138
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,900
- two-bath, fireplace...
- This is great.

139
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,900
...hardwood floors, terrace,
beautifully decorated

140
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,800
by talented woman who hates
looking for apartments,

141
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,800
gay best friend included.
Ha-ha!

142
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:48,700
- Grace, you can't move in with me.
- Why not?

143
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:52,400
- Because, you know it's a bad idea.
- I don't know that, you know that.

144
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:55,300
I hate when people say, I know that.
How would I know that?

145
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,600
Let's go over the reasons
why you shouldn't.

146
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,600
Reason
you just got out of a relationship,

147
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,800
and you need
to wipe the slate clean.

148
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,900
Okay. Reason

149
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,600
I would never let you
walk out of the house

150
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,100
with mustard on your face.
Come here.

151
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000
No, no, no, eew.

152
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:13,800
Reason
neighborhood calls me nice lady.

153
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,900
He calls me nice lady.

154
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,400
You need to build your own nest.
Living with me--

155
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:23,300
- I'd just become a crutch for you.
- So be my crutch.

156
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:27,700
You are so Markie Post
in every single Lifetime movie.

157
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,000
Eew.

158
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,300
Grace, this is right.

159
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,300
You'll see,
it's gonna be great for you.

160
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:41,000
How? I'll be in a crappy
apartment somewhere, alone,

161
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,700
sitting around reading a human
interest story about, I don't know,

162
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,200
a kitty, with no hind legs,

163
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,700
who pulls herself around on a cart.

164
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,600
Then I'll be sad, because I'm alone,
and kind of wounded,

165
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:55,400
and I'll identify with the kitty.

166
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:59,100
- I am that kitty.
- You are not that kitty!

167
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,000
Trust me, you're a big ol' calico.

168
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,400
- Really?
- Yeah.

169
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,300
- Yeah. I can do this.
- You can do this.

170
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,300
I should do this.

171
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,100
This could be the best thing
I've ever done for myself.

172
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:16,000
Look at you.
Gettin' on, gettin' past.

173
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:19,500
Gettin' a little sick,
what's in this thing?

174
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,100
Will,
I'm scared.

175
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,900
Of course, you're scared.
You're supposed to be scared.

176
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,100
- I'm scared.
- You are?

177
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,800
Yeah, I just ate a hot dog
from a vendor with three teeth.

178
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:33,700
I'm terrified.

179
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,300
Will:
Sign here.

180
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,700
Initial here.

181
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,300
Put the pen here.
Shake my hand here.

182
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,500
As your attorney, it gives me great
pleasure to inform you

183
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,900
that you are now the largest
manufacturer of buffalo feed

184
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,700
in the entire Southwest.

185
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,500
Say it again!

186
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,500
You are now the largest
manufacturer of buffalo feed

187
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,100
in the entire Southwest.

188
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:56,800
It just sounds sexy, doesn't it?

189
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,500
- I'm hot.
- Yeah, let's go celebrate.

190
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,400
Harlin, can I take a rain check?
I am so tired.

191
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:05,900
Figuring out all those billable
hours really wiped you out, did it?

192
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:09,600
No, just this guy
who's living with me.

193
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,100
Look, Will,

194
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,200
I know it's none of my business,

195
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:15,200
but when my wife
and I are having a problem,

196
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:18,400
I light some candles,
get out some nice aromatic oils,

197
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:21,400
then rub it up--

198
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:25,300
it's just none of my business.

199
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:30,700
No, it's just a friend who's
staying with me temporarily.

200
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,200
He keeps odd hours.
He's got the energy of a ferret.

201
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:35,800
He's messy,
and he's got this enormous bird.

202
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:39,700
And by bird you mean--

203
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,600
Bird.

204
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,200
Just checking.

205
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,200
Woman:
Will, it's Grace on line two.

206
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,200
- Hey.
- I found it, it's great.

207
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,200
- Come overnow.
- Where is it?

208
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:55,400
It's in Brooklyn Heights.
Get off at the Borough Hall stop.

209
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,800
- I'll meet you there.
- Wait this connection must be bad.

210
00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:01,700
I could have sworn
I heard you say Brooklyn.

211
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,300
What do you think?

212
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,300
- I think we're in Brooklyn.
- You hate it.

213
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,500
No, no I don't.

214
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,600
Who knew there were such nice
apartments in Brooklyn?

215
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,500
I thought the only thing in Brooklyn
were the Dodgers,

216
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,300
and about 300,000 guys
named Guido.

217
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,200
Will, the Dodgers
left Brooklyn in 1958.

218
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:22,100
Sweetie, you know
I don't follow the volleyball.

219
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:26,300
- Look at that tree.
- They really do grow in Brooklyn.

220
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,800
Grace, you have a new apartment!

221
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,600
I know!

222
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,900
- We need to do something.
- We need to play the game.

223
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,800
Yes!
What game?

224
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,800
The guess-where-all-my-
stuff's-gonna-go game.

225
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,800
- I just made it up.
- Oh, excellent game.

226
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:44,600
- Ready?
- Yeah.

227
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,400
I'm up against the wall
with a southern exposure

228
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,300
that gets all the light
during the day. What am l?

229
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,900
You're the ficus.

230
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,100
Yes.

231
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,800
Good. Moving on.

232
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:59,600
I'm above the fireplace.

233
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,200
What am l?

234
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,200
You're the ugly piece of string art
you got in Santa Fe.

235
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,700
If you're not even going
to challenge me,

236
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,300
I can leave right now.

237
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:12,200
Okay, okay.

238
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:16,100
Captain's chair.
Come on, Grace.

239
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:19,200
Okay, okay.
I got one.

240
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:22,900
( spitting )
What am l?

241
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:26,700
I don't know what that is,
but I am really embarrassed for you.

242
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:31,600
- I'm the humidifier.
- Oh, yeah.

243
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,300
One, yes!
Coming back!

244
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,800
- The lease?
- No, haven't done anything yet.

245
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:41,500
No, it's a two-year lease.

246
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,000
- And you've signed it.
- Okay.

247
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,600
I am old, and I once
lived in Aunt Reba's house,

248
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:51,400
and I'm not Uncle Joe.

249
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,700
Sweetie, I've gotta go.
I left Harlin back at the office,

250
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,100
- and I gotta get back. I'm sorry.
- Okay. Call me.

251
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,300
I will.

252
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,700
I'm really happy for you.

253
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,600
I'm a coffee table!

254
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,600
Announcer: Tonight:
comedian Sandra Bernhard;

255
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,500
twelve-year-old pig caller
Joni Marchinko;

256
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,500
and Regis Philbin

257
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,300
with Andy Richter
and The Max Weinberg Seven.

258
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,300
Now, here's your host

259
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:39,200
Conan O'Brien!

260
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,300
Jack, I'm sorry, but--

261
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,800
Morning, roomie.
Last night you missed it.

262
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,800
They had grizzly bear attacks
on The Discovery Channel.

263
00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:05,700
It was good,
but I wanted better.

264
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,900
What did you break?

265
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,600
Can't a fella just make
another fella a little meal?

266
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,400
You broke another
wineglass, didn't you?

267
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:17,300
Welcome to Cynical lsland,
population you.

268
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:20,500
I just think
it's a little sad, Will,

269
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,400
that you can't accept
a simple act of kindness

270
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:25,800
without turning it into something
ugly and bitter.

271
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:29,600
Okay, Guapo pooped
on one of your suits.

272
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,700
There, let the bile flow.

273
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,600
Jack, it's all right.

274
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:36,800
Excuse me?

275
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:39,500
It's a suit,
I can get it dry cleaned.

276
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,600
That's true.

277
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:44,000
Since I'm going,
do you need anything cleaned?

278
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:46,400
On me.

279
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:49,600
Where's Guapo?
What did you do with him?

280
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,000
Pretty bird?

281
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:53,300
Jack, Guapo's fine.

282
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,700
What? Can't a fella
dry clean another fella's--

283
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,200
I want you out.

284
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:01,300
I'm asking Grace to move in.

285
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,200
Oops, I did break
another wineglass.

286
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:10,400
Jack, come--
you're leaving in a week anyway.

287
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,200
She belongs here.
I thought if she had her own place

288
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:16,000
it would be good for her,
but it's not good for me.

289
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,000
She's too much a part
of my everyday life.

290
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,600
I can't have her
all the way over in Brooklyn.

291
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:21,600
So you think you and Grace moving
in together is the best thing

292
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:25,000
- to do for the both of you?
- Yeah, I'm sure of it.

293
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:27,000
And I'm out?
No, no, that's very interesting.

294
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:30,000
- Now I know how your suit feels.
- Oh, Jack.

295
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:33,900
Come on! It's not that big a deal.
You can stay at your mother's.

296
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,000
What is that?
Some type of sick joke?

297
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000
All right, then maybe you can stay--

298
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:43,200
You know what? I can take care
of myself, thank you very much.

299
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,100
Don't worry about me.

300
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,500
I'm a survivor.

301
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,400
- So you'll be at your mother's?
- Yup!

302
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,400
Jack: Grace,

303
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:58,300
Grace, where are you?
You're making a huge mistake.

304
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,300
Are you Karen?

305
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,300
Yes, honey.

306
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,200
Well, Peter, Paul, and Mary,
you are fabulous.

307
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,300
Well, thank you.

308
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,900
- Who are you?
- I'm Jack.

309
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,200
Jack?

310
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,900
Oh, Will's Jack?

311
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,300
Well, hello, honey. We've talked
on the phone a million times.

312
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,800
I can't believe we've never met.

313
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,100
Look at you, you little hottie.
Stand up.

314
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,000
Oh, no, come on.

315
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,300
Look at you.
You are a rocket ship.

316
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,200
Oh, get out of here,
you strange person.

317
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,600
This is--

318
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,400
what is this?

319
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:42,400
PS, loving the boobs.

320
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:46,500
Perky, with all kinds of attitude.
Store bought?

321
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,700
Huh-uh.

322
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,900
Right on. God, I had no idea
you would be so--

323
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,500
kitten-with-a-whip!

324
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,700
Come on, let's touch stomachs.

325
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,600
Oh, my Lord.
You are a complete freak.

326
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,300
So, honey, what are you doing here?
Why are you here?

327
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:12,700
What's going on?
What's happening? What's that?

328
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,700
I borrowed this tassel
from Grace two months ago,

329
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,600
- and I never returned it.
- You borrowed one tassel, for what?

330
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:21,200
Let's just say a lamp.

331
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,700
Okay, come on, honey.
Stick around, talk to me.

332
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:27,000
I have nothing to do today.
Grace is taking the day off to move.

333
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:29,100
Not where you think.

334
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,100
- Shoes?
- Chanel.

335
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:33,000
- Fabulous.
- I know. What are you telling me?

336
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,800
Will is asking her
to move in with him.

337
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,600
Honey, no, no,
she can't move into his place.

338
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,600
That's not acceptable.

339
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:45,500
Tell me about it,
you feisty little Shih Tzu.

340
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,500
Oh, honey, how is she ever
going to get married

341
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,400
if she's playing house
with a gay guy?

342
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,500
No offense.

343
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:56,400
Just guessing.

344
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:05,900
- Hey.
- Hi!

345
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:08,200
How did you get up without buzzing?

346
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:10,100
For three bucks you can get into
any building on this block.

347
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:13,200
- Actually, this one only cost two.
- See? I'm a bargain.

348
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,100
So, what do you think?

349
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:17,700
It's great. I met one of your
neighbors on the way in.

350
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:21,500
I'm sure he's a lot less
threatening with his pants on.

351
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:25,700
Okay, got it, Will.
Brooklyn bad; Manhattan good.

352
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,900
Look. Is this perfect here or what?

353
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,400
It's perfect.
It's also mine.

354
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,100
Oh my gosh, it is?

355
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,800
- It is.
- Keep it, you keep it.

356
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,300
Really? Thanks.

357
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:39,200
I'm glad you're here.
Tell me where this mirror should go.

358
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,100
- How about here?
- Over.

359
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,500
- Over.
- Hello? Arms.

360
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,500
Further, go on.
Eh, eh, eh...

361
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,800
- Will, I'm going out the door.
- Trust me.

362
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:52,300
Take it into the hallway.

363
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,200
Now get in the elevator,
and go downstairs,

364
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:57,200
and get in the cab that's gonna
take you back to my apartment,

365
00:17:57,100 --> 00:18:01,100
'cause I want you
to move in with me.

366
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:07,700
Look at you.

367
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,500
Look at what you're doing.

368
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,900
This is the face of a man
who's driving me crazy.

369
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,800
Why? I thought you'd be happy.
I thought-- I'm talking to my--

370
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:18,700
Can we put this down, please?

371
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,700
We're born roommates.
What's the problem?

372
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,200
What's the problem?
The problem is it's too late.

373
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,100
I can't believe this.
What happened?

374
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,200
What happened to the whole
you being a crutch thing?

375
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,600
Some people might call it a crutch,
but-- what's a crutch?

376
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:32,300
It's support.
Support from someone who loves you.

377
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,800
Someone who has a terrace,
which you don't,

378
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:38,100
out here in Murderville.

379
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:41,800
I can't believe you're doing this.
Why are you doing this?

380
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,700
- You're too far away.
- Listen to me.

381
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,900
I packed boxes,
I overpaid movers.

382
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,100
My mother's been here, and hates it.
I'm staying.

383
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:52,500
Grace, you just left
the man you were gonna marry.

384
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,800
I just got out of
a seven-year relationship.

385
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,700
Why should we go through that alone?
At the end of the day,

386
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,700
I'd like to be with my best friend.

387
00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:01,200
So would l,

388
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,200
but I'm here.

389
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,700
I can't talk you out of this?

390
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,000
I'm a lawyer. I'm very good
at this sort of thing.

391
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,600
I know, you talked me into it.

392
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:12,100
I should sue myself.

393
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Will, I've got to do this.
I have to have done this.

394
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,900
Be happy for me.
It's good that I have my own place.

395
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,000
Even if it is in Brooklyn.

396
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Ya know what I'm talkin' about,
ya big mook,

397
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:25,900
with your 90-mile-an-hour hair?

398
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:51,700
Okay, I've done this.

399
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:16,900
- Goodnight, Will.
- Goodnight, Gracie.